“Everyone alive has suffered. It is the wisdom gained from our wounds and from our own experiences of suffering that makes us able to heal. Becoming expert has turned out to be less important than remembering and trusting the wholeness in myself and everyone else. Expertise cures, but wounded people can best be healed by other wounded people. Only other wounded people can understand what is needed, for the healing of suffering is compassion, not expertise.”
Revealing The Wounded Healer
My Story and the Gift of Healing
1. The Gateway: Never Give Up
God himself helps those who dare.
Sometimes in life, a special path opens to us. A path that we would not have taken by choice. Because it looks bad. Because we don’t like the change. Because we are afraid.
And yet, invariably, should you choose to take the journey, you will be taken into an unsuspected world, an opening of a destiny, a journey of transcendence.
Sadly there are those who refuse the path and wither away, becoming the eternal victim, a wasteland of meaningless life.
How fascinating that these portals open up mostly in our darkest moments, when hope languish and we feel gone astray.
Many years ago now, I hit the rock bottom. I found myself in one of the darkest moments of my life. Depressed and on medication, heavy smoker and obese.
Falling from a high and comfortable place, the contact with this harsh reality was rough.
So, what do you do with such a wreck ?
A long time ago, a good friend of mine told me this: “At some point” — he said — “you were a baby that just started to walk. You fell. You rose. You fell again. And again. And again. Did you gave up ? Did you said to yourself «No, it’s too hard, I’ll never walk, I give up.» ? No. Because you didn’t know how to give up. To keep going is in you, it is in all of us, you are born with it. Then we grow up and we forget.”
Babies do not give up. Then we grow up and we forget.
I remembered. I never give up.
The path opened. I stepped trough the gate into the unknown.
2. The Awakening: The Way Up
I will either find a way or make one.
I began to search for a solution.
But … How to start ? Where to start ? What to start with ?
How do you eat an elephant ? One bite at a time (please don’t really eat elephants, they are endangered species, they may not taste that good and, besides, so much meat may give you gout).
By education I am a scientist. Hard science: MSc. in Physics, MSc. in Maths. I am trained to think deeply, to solve complex problems and get precise results. 1+1=2, not 3, not 1.5. Wishy-washy and BS does not work with me.
And, as a problem solver, this is one particular lesson that got me started:
When you have a problem, chances are you are not the first one, you are not alone. There are people who had same problem. There are people that have solved it. There are people that will to help you … because they know how it is, they’ve been trough all this and made it to the other side.
There are people that know how to solve your problem. Because they solved it for themselves first.
The first and the simplest thing that I did, was to quit smoking.
Quitting smoking may not be easy but it’s simple because you can do it “cold turkey”. The nicotine dependency is weak, it’s out of your system after few days. And then all that remains is to clean up the behaviour.
It was the first ray of sunshine, the first success … and I felt thrilled. Empowered. On top of the world.
I began to learn that behaviour is driven by the unconscious mind. I began to realize how powerful this may be.
Just think about for a moment: if it’s so powerful to hold you in a bad behaviour then it must be equally powerful for good behaviours. Different outcomes yes — but it’s the same process. Because behaviour is just that — an automated process. “Good” or “bad” is the meaning we attach to it.
Automatic behaviour is like a tool, you could wield it badly, but it’s designed for good work, towards success and well being. Ponder this: How powerful would it be to have a compulsion for success ? How fantastic ? An automatic, effortless behaviour for achievement. Same process — same tool.
This was my first profound insight. It’s not new, but little I knew at the time.
I began to pay attention to how my mind works. Who’s driving my bus. I started to discover that there is a structure, there is a way to organise things and get consistent results. How the system works. When you have a structure — a system — then you can control it. It’s no longer chaos. It is a precise tool, designed to make your work easy and perfect.
The next thing I did was to loose some weight. That chocolate cake in the fridge ? … is not winking only at you, it’s winking at me too …
A ballet dancer I’m not, but I did reach a healthy weight and I kept it for more than 12 years. I can enjoy the stuff I like (mountain biking). I have enough energy to work, to play and do many other things. And I know now what it takes to reach and permanently keep a healthy weight.
I began to turn my life around …
3. The Danger Zone: The Road of Trials
“I don’t have a solution but I admire the problem.”
And so, with first successes, I got hooked on to the self-help movement. I wanted to know what else I can do.
There are many books, seminars, systems out there designed to help you achieve whatever you want. When there is a market there is a product.
There is a whole industry in fact. It’s known as the “Self-Help Industry” and so far it had managed to help itself to the tune of 12 billion dollars in US alone. That’s ‘B’ for billion. Per year. 45,000 titles in print. 45,000 ?
You would think that one or two books should be enough: Here’s how to set your goal. Here’s how to get it. Write when you get rich. Goodbye.
Instead of this, it’s “We only part to meet again”.
The most likely new customer is the old customer.
Sometimes I think I am in the wrong business. Maybe I should start a book series. “Your Dream in 7 Steps”. “More Dreams in 19 Steps”. “Ultimate Dream in 397 Steps”. Slap in some feel-good glop and done. Wait for the checks … Come to think of it maybe I will.
I’ve tried countless systems over all those years and this is what I found:
- No, I don’t feel-good-no-matter-what. There is a story about a guy that falls from the 20th floor of a building. About half-way down somebody yells to him “How are you doing ?”. “OK so far”, he yells back.
- Anger management: A punching bag is no substitute for the real thing.
- Weight loss miracle cure: Milk from Himalayas goats that eat only blue grass under full Moon — no, sorry, doesn’t work either.
I did however discover the first real secret, here it is:
Nothing happens until something moves.
Take action. Ask for help. There are plenty of real people able and willing to help. Sometimes they are right in front of you. And you’ll not see them until you will want to see.
When you are ready, you see the teacher. Right in front of you.
I was ready. And then I found the teacher.
4. The Real Take-off: The Path to the Summit
Follow your bliss, and don’t be afraid, and doors will open …
There is a second deep “secret” I found.
It’s about communicating with that part of your mind that is outside your normal, every day awareness. It’s that part that is responsible for your behaviours. For your emotions. For your well being. Your subconscious mind. And the most advanced way of communication is hypnosis.
The most direct, the most rapid, the most effective way is hypnosis. Because it was developed on purpose to fix problems at the source.
It’s being said that out mind is like a ship. The conscious mind is the captain. The team is the subconscious. The captain sets the direction. The team executes. When they are aligned, nothing can stop them.
It is hypnosis that allows the captain to communicate most effectively with the team. The hypnotist is the navigator. He helps you navigate your own psyche to safely reach your destination.
You are the captain of your mind. The hypnotist is your navigator. He helps you safely reach your destination.
Hypnosis is truly a fascinating subject. And it’s not the cheesy Hollywood depiction in movies. It is not the funny stage hypnosis show. It is fascinating because it’s such an exquisite universal system for creating positive outcomes when properly used.
So, I begun learning hypnosis. I’ve trained with some of the very best contemporary masters in the world. I’ve studied the works of past grand masters like Milton Erickson. I took a deep dive into the study of hypnosis. Learning was fascinating and fun. Being blessed with a sharp mind by nature helped a lot (and I’m grateful for this). And being trained in Maths and Physics also helped a lot — it allowed me to organise the knowledge and then gain profound insights. And, as I discovered, this was the key to precise results.
Substantial Expertise + Profound Insights = Precise Results
After so many years, I still vividly remember my very first outstanding success. A nice older lady. I got her in a beautiful deep hypnotic trance. I knew it because I saw the REM (“rapid eye movements”), characteristic of dream sleep and deep trances. At the end of the session, tears of joy were pouring from hey eyes. A profound change has just occurred — a catharsis. I cannot describe the thrill of having helped another human to solve their problem. If you ever helped a friend in need then you know what I am talking about.
And this — more than anything else — made me want to become a professional hypnotherapist.
I was hooked.
5. There are no roads …
Wanderer, your footsteps are the road, and nothing more.
It was a long journey and it was a hard journey but looking back I am so thrilled that I made it. I never gave up. I found my bliss and opened the doors. I won the boon and brought it back.
It took a long time but I arrived.
I revealed the Mind Healer, the Psyche Navigator.
Is hypnosis for everybody ?
No. It is not for coach potatoes, it is not for those who lack any ambition. It’s not for those searching for excuses.
Hypnosis is not for those who want to stay as they are.
I’d love to hear from you!
Contact me with any questions or comments, or anything else you’d like to chat about. If you have specific questions I’ll do the best I can to help you out or connect you with someone who can.
There is a myth — an archetype — that appears over and over in our traditions and stories. Carl Jung named it the “Wounded Healer”.
The Wounded Healer is the one that has gone into the darkness himself, went trough it all and brought back the ultimate boon — the gift of healing.